You know you’re dating a triathlete when you …

February 14, 2015

1. Always carry snacks with you

Hangriness is that gnawing hunger that starts with a grump and ends with rage if not headed off with snacks at the earliest opportunity. Be warned and be prepared. Keep a Bonkbreaker permanent resident in your handbag and you can’t go far wrong…

2. Grow used to Panda eyes

A pre-breakfast swim can mean goggle marks last until at least lunchtime, giving a triathlete the appearance of a red and pink Panda. And that says nothing about the smell of chlorine 24/7. That stuff gets in your pores, no matter how much Chanel you bathe in…

3. Know about two-drink tipsy

I obviously take my training seriously but I do believe in the maxim ‘everything in moderation’ (even moderation). I will enjoy a glass of wine or a beer of a weekend but high intensity training does not lead to a high alcohol tolerance. So be warned, that second glass of wine could lead to giggling, babbling and maybe a grouch in the morning!

4. Play second fiddle to the smartphone

Triathletes are renowned for their social media obsessions. If dating an endurance junkie, grow accustomed to the fact your sweetheart will probably have eyes first and foremost for their Twitter, Facebook and Instagram accounts – and you might stand best chance of reaching them by DM-ing them.

5. Are accustomed to low sex drive

It’s not you, it’s me. Or at least it is the huge mileage I cranked out in the last month. It won’t last forever but it will be back next time we get a rest day…

6. Don’t even register fashion faux pas

Compression gear in public, a forgotten heart-rate monitor still on under the little black number and a dodgy M Dot visor are common mistakes. We dress to prevent chafing and drag and maximise performance – sorry about that.

7. Expect your partner to look pixelated in person

It’s the tan lines, see? Three sports in triathlon gives you a variety: one day a long session in a swim suit, the next in a cycling jersey and the day after in a tri top can leave you looking like a patchwork quilt. It’s not a good look but it’s hard to avoid.

Who’d fall in love with a triathlete, eh? Happy Valentine’s!

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